From Buttons To Castles

All week, I’ve been thinking about Mexican food.  I’ve wanted cheese enchiladas, refried beans, and rice.  I wanted to go out to eat, but that’s not something I’m going to spend my money on at this point.  Tim mentioned earlier this week that he wanted cheese enchiladas too.

Night before last, my friend, Kathy, called and said she and her partner were taking us out for Mexican food the next day.  No arguments.

How about that?  Tim and I both had cheese enchiladas, refried beans, and rice.  We manifested what we wanted in less than a week.  Kathy and Lyn have never taken us out to eat before, so this wasn’t a usual occurrence.

Two days ago, I offhandedly asked Tim, “What happened to all those Wiffle golf balls Ducky used to play with?”  (These were plastic golf balls with holes in them, and Tim gave her five to play with when we first got her in October.  She loved to toss them up in the air and pounce on them.)  Tim said, “They’re probably under the sofa or something.”

This morning, I got up a lot earlier than I normally do.  Because I got up so early, I took Ducky to the forest and let Tim sleep in.  When we got home, I had to take her in our exercise room, where we have a TV and an office chair in addition to our exercise stuff, because she kept trying to scratch on the bedroom door to wake up her Daddy.  Confining Ducky to that room is something Tim’s been doing since we got Ducky.  Not one time in the four months we’ve had her have I been the one to hang out in there with her.  He does it for me because he gets up earlier.

So I’m sitting on the floor with Ducky, and I’m watching the Olympics on TV (an old console TV that sits on the floor), and I spot a Wiffle golf ball under the TV.  I get it out and, in the process, find another one.

Delighted, Ducky starts playing with them.  She tosses one behind a trunk.  I move the trunk, and I find a third one.

Interesting manifesting, huh?

And one more …

Two days ago, I was talking to Tim about something, and I used the cliché, “The proof is in the pudding.”  Since Tim doesn’t remember anything before 2006, most clichés are foreign to him, so I asked him if he knew what that meant.  He said he had heard that one and he did know what it meant.

A half hour after this conversation, I was reading something on the internet, something that included the phrase, “the proof is in the pudding.”

I hadn’t said or read or heard that cliché in years, and there it was, twice in a half hour.

If I can manifest these things, then can’t I manifest money?

One of my favorite Abraham-Hicks quotes is:

“It is as easy to create a castle as a button. It’s just a matter of whether you’re focused on a castle or a button.”

Apparently, I’ve been focused on buttons, not castles.

After thinking about the pep-talk I got from my friend a couple days ago, I decided I really haven’t been living the Abraham-Hicks principles.  I spend too much time thinking about what shoulda happened, coulda happened, woulda happened.  I lament and I worry.

I am not thinking about being the joyful lottery winner I want to be.  I’m not thinking about being the successful writer I want to be.

I’m thinking about my current situation.

So of course, I’ll perpetuate it.

I think the reason I can create Mexican dinners, Wiffle golf balls, and clichés is that I focus on them with a pureness of thought that doesn’t include worry and doubt.  I don’t agonize over these things.  I think about them and then I let go.

Abraham-Hicks calls this “the art of allowing.”  We don’t have to hammer this stuff into place.  We just have to allow it, and the way we do that is by aligning with our nonphysical self, i.e., by feeling good.

Earlier this week, I was doing some research on law of attraction because I was pondering putting more focus on this blog, and I read several articles and websites about it.  I discovered there’s a lot of misinformation out there about how it works.

For example, a writer on ehow.com said the law of attraction is a belief.  It’s not a belief.  It’s a law, a universal law, like the law of gravity.  It works whether you believe it or not.

Today, I received an e-mail from a law of attraction writer.  He suggested that in deliberate manifestation, you need to start small.  He says if you don’t have 100 percent belief, the universe “will be confused by the vibes that you are putting out.”  Huh?  The universe doesn’t get confused.  It just matches up vibrations.

So it’s not about believing per se, it’s about how you feel.  When you’re “ahead of your beliefs,” trying to manifest something you don’t think is possible, you get frustrated, tense, worried, etc.  These feelings are the indication that you are not in alignment with your inner being.  When you’re not in alignment with your inner being, you cannot manifest what you desire.

The universe KNOWS what we desire, and it’s happy to bring it us when we’re a vibrational match to it.  To be a vibrational match, we have to be aligned with our inner being, i.e, we have to feel good.

Personally, it doesn’t make me feel good to limit what I can manifest.  I like thinking about the big stuff.  But then again, when I don’t believe it’s possible, I feel bad.  I can feel the distance between what I want and what I’m thinking about what I want.

I think that’s why I can so easily create Mexican food and plastic golf balls and clichés and I’ve yet to create money.  For the former, there’s no distance between my desire and what I’m thinking about those desires.  I have no resistance to those desires.  For the latter, I have tons of distance.  I want it but I’m too busy looking at the evidence of not having it.  Huge resistance there.

So I’m still figuring this stuff out.  But I’m recommitting to my experiment.  I’ll never forgive myself if I don’t.

New Motto: I Try Harder

Earlier this week, a VERY wise friend e-mailed me the following advice:

“It’s okay if you have set backs, doubts and stuff.  It’s okay.  It’s life.  That’s only human and makes sense, especially when you’re in the predicament you’re in.  You’d be really crazy not to worry BUT my humble opinion is that you really have to try harder.  I’m not sure if you’re trying to follow the principles of Abraham-Hicks.  Are you really?   You seem to have the teachings down pact.  You know a lot of the quotes, but are you putting it into real practice and making an attempt to continue that practice?
”I suppose it’s okay if part of your experiment is that you tried to do the happy thoughts thing and you weren’t able to sustain it for X amount of days.  I guess that’s part of the experiment, too.  However, I’m just wondering …

“Question:  How many more days do you have for your experiment?   One more week?  What will it take to truly give in to GOOD thoughts (HAPPY thoughts) for just 5 more days and truly see if Abraham-Hicks is right — truly see if your experiment works or not?  What will it take to put some blinders on against the negative stuff, the negative thinking, the negative memories and only think positively for, for example, 5 days?   What will it really take to really put Abraham-Hicks teachings into REAL practice — for 5 days only.  Not 30 days, not 20 days, not even 10 days.  I guess, sometimes, we have to start with small steps, baby steps.  Maybe 30 days of this experiment is not good for you.  It’s not what you need.

“It’s okay to feel overwhelmed and have doubts and be confused but you set out to do your experiment.  So, why don’t you start over for the next couple of days and take each day one at a time.  And if you feel the panic coming on or the doubt coming on or the confusion coming on, you do everything in your power to fight it.  Do more of what makes you happy when you feel that doubt coming on.  And see what happens.  That’s your real experiment.  That’s your real reason for experimenting.  To see if it will really work.  Right now, it’s not working fully because you’re not fully participating in the process.  And then if it doesn’t work, it doesn’t work.  Then you move on.  You can truly say that you gave it your all in this experiment process and it didn’t work.  Am I making sense. Stop thinking about what you shoulda, coulda, woulda done in the past to fix any problems…   Think about what you’re going to do in the moment and how you’re going to ACTIVELY implement what you’re learning from Abraham-Hicks teachings.

“My whole point is keep trying to stick to your experiment exercise.  Keep trying to let the happy thoughts rule and let’s see what will happen.  See what will really happen.  Give your experiment a real chance to see if it works or not.  In order to do it, you really have to try.”

And I couldn’t possibly have said it any better myself.

So for the rest of the month of February, I have a new motto.  I try harder.

No Match

Today’s Abraham-Hicks quote was:

“If there is something that you desire and it is not coming to you, it always means the same thing. You are not a vibrational match to your own desire.”

And I say, hmmm.  So how do you become a vibrational match?

Abraham-Hicks say that you’re a vibrational match to your desires when you’re feeling good.  Tim says he’s feeling good.  But what he wants isn’t coming.

So I’m confused.

And I’m unable to ignore it.

A friend recently wrote to me and suggested that I’m not doing a very good job of sticking to my experiment.  She’s absolutely right.  And to do that, I have to ignore what is or what was, including that Tim claims to feel great and rich and still doesn’t have what he wants.

I can’t turn my attention from this yet.

It’s like being given a choice of two hypodermic needles—one supposedly is a poison and the other is an antidote to poison you’ve ingested that’s about to kill you.  They’re not labeled, so you wait to see what results other people get with the needles.  If someone who took the same poison you did tries needle #1 and gets no help from it and dies, are you going to choose needle #1.  No way.

So my experiment seems a little silly right now.  Maybe I’ll get an attitude adjustment.  I’m waiting for it.

And if anyone out there has any experience with achieving vibrational matches to what they want, I’d love to hear about it.

Virtually A Great Day

In my virtual reality, this is how I spent my day.

I woke up just before 8.  Ducky and her sister, Dandy, lay against me in the bed, their eyes open, waiting for me to wake up.  When I pushed the button on my nightstand to open our black-out shades, both dogs turned into wiggle-waggle-squeaking machines.  We exchanged exuberant oh-my-god-it’s-been-forever-since-we’ve-seen-you greetings while I looked out the window at the sun’s glitter on the surface of the ocean.

Tim had already left to go play golf.  So I threw on my clothes, made a quick fruit smoothie, and the dogs and I set off for our walk on our acreage.  We have four mile-plus long trails, and we did all of them today.  Sun shining.  Cool breeze.  It was a wonderful walk.

I returned home, rinsed their feet in the Springer room (where we groom them), then went downstairs to the work-out room.  I spent 4 minutes on the ROM and another 20 minutes practicing a dance routine I’m working on.  The dogs watched me and rated my performance at a 7 out of 10—needs work.  We all went back upstairs and I got into the Bath Cave (Tim’s name for our large stone shower).  After my shower, I ate a small bowl of cereal.

I had have no writing deadlines right now, so after I ate, I went (with dogs at my side, of course) up to my art studio.  I’ve been taking watercolor lessons, and I’m working on a landscape of the view from our home.  From the expressions on Ducky’s and Dandy’s faces, I think they rate it even lower than my dance routine; but I’m having fun with it.

When Tim came home about 12:30, he found me at my easel.  He and the dogs exchanged their wild greetings.  He smelled all “golfy”—a mixture of grass and sweat and satisfaction.  He said he was getting in the hot tub and wanted company.  That was fine by me.

We spent the next 45 minutes in the hot tub while the dogs snoozed nearby (they ran like crazy on their walk and were still worn out).  I love the hot tub—it never fails to put Tim and I in a great mood, if you know what I mean. I’m surprised he has so much energy after golfing, but he does, which is great.

Tim took a shower.  I threw on some clothes and went down to the music room to practice piano and singing the harmony part I’m learning for a song Tim and I are working on together.  Ducky and Dandy got their second wind and wrestled on the exercise mat outside the music room.

After my practice, I went to my office and updated my Joyful Springer blog.  Tim was in his shop.  He’s working on a table for some friends of ours.  He’s been learning so much from our neighbor, who’s been wordworking for years.

I went back up to my studio to do some cartoon drawing and was surprised when Tim came in and told me it was almost 7.  I really got lost in what I was doing.

Tim and I made burritos for dinner with fresh guacamole for me.  He’s cleaning up the kitchen while I make this post, and then we’re going up to the SPAP (Scrabble, Ping pong And Pool) room to play some pool.  We’ll probably watch a movie in bed later.  The dogs love it when we do that because they can curl up with us.

It’s been a wonderful day in the Waggery, which means it’s been a normal day.  I’m so blessed.

…and this was me telling the story of what I want, not what is.

Okay, So I Lied

I sounded really upbeat yesterday, didn’t I?

I lied.

I was pretending to be upbeat.  Not the same thing as actually feeling it.

I had a horrible thought.  What if Abraham-Hicks is wrong?

I asked Tim today if he would have made the decisions he did with regard to our finances—the decisions he made that got us into this mess, the ones that he didn’t tell me about until it was too late for me to fix the problem—if he’d never heard of Abraham.

You see, it worries me.  Tim only remembers the last 4 years of his life.  I’ve been his most powerful influence in that time.  I told him about Abraham-Hicks.  He believed me.  He’s based his decisions on that ever since.

But what do I know?

I’ve read their stuff.  It makes sense to me.

But I have no proof—well, just a little.

But Tim has been feeling like a lottery winner, like a rich person, for a very long time.  Why do we still have no money?

If you read Abraham-Hicks books, you can’t help but notice that they tell you that if you spend even a few days feeling like you want your life to be, you will notice shifts in your experience.  Tim’s financial experience has not shifted in a positive way since he started feeling rich.  In fact, it’s gotten worse.

So what if Abraham-Hicks is full of beans?

Then we’re screwed.

And I’m not finding freelance jobs that will pay me more than $500 a month.  Neither has Tim.

ARRRRGH.

Well, going back to Abraham-Hicks and assuming they know what they’re talking about, here’s a Daily quote from the other day:

“The one who fears something the most is the one who has it most activated in their vibration. And so, it is logical that they would experience it.”

See?  That makes sense.  I’m afraid of not having money, so I’ve activated it.

I’m SO confused.

Finding The Right Beat

Saturday evening, Tim and I watched a funky little romantic comedy movie called, The Guru. It’s about a young man, Ramu Guptal, played by Jimi Mistry,  who comes to the United States from India intending to find fame and fortune as an actor and dancer.

Ramu’s plan doesn’t go well.  He finds himself on the set of a porno movie, unable to get certain of his equipment to function properly for his role.  One bizarre thing leads to another and Ramu ultimately finds himself in the role of “The Sex Guru” to rich people.  He’s a total fake, but he has one good piece of advice for his clients, the advice he’s lived by, the advice that brought him to the United States to begin with.  Ramu tells people, “Move your feet to the beat of your heart.”

I think Abraham-Hicks would agree wholeheartedly with this advice.  Isn’t that what feeling good is about?

Today’s Abraham-Hicks quote is:

“Today, no matter where I’m going and no matter what I am doing, it is my dominant intent to see that which I am wanting to see.”

Instead of going through my day living up to other people’s expectations and seeing the world the way society sees it, I’ve been intent on moving my feet to the beat of my own heart, looking for what I want to see.

I want to see financial security, freedom to spend the day as I desire.  Today, I’ve seen that.

In the movie, Ramu’s mis-step into the porno world ends up leading him to the girl of his dreams, and moving his feet to the beat of his heart ultimately wins him that girl.

Yeah, I know it was a movie.  But what is life if not a fiction we create day by day with our choices and intentions?

What if I could write my life as I want to see it?  What if my feet could move to the music of my heart’s desires?

No struggles today.  I’m dancing to the beat of freedom and contentment.  Ahhh.

The Power Of Sitting

This morning, Tim and Ducky and I went on our walk, as usual.  It was a slightly drippy morning—a few squalls moving through and the leftovers from yesterday’s steady rain dripping from the trees.  We had a great hour and ten minute or so walk and were heading back to the car.

Tim reached into his pocket for Ducky’s leash.

It was gone.

The leash we carry in the forest is a simple nylon lead that Ducky’s grandpa (my stepdad) gave her for Christmas.  It’s a John Deere leash.  My dad got it because he has a John Deere riding lawn mower that he treats like a treasured sports car and a John Deere hat that he loves to wear (he’s 80 years old—it’s his idea of hip attire).

The leash was perfect for walks because it was small and tucked into a pocket and was just enough to control her at the start and end of our walks, at the trailhead near the street.

When we realized it was missing, Tim said he and Ducky would retrace our path and try to find it.  One pass through the whole forest takes about half an hour at the pace we usually walk.  Tim can go faster (since my ankle injury, I don’t move the way I used to), so I planted myself on a bench in the forest clearing and waited.

The bench, by the way, is lovely.  It’s a wooden bench with a verdigris cast iron rose-patterned back.  It bears a dedication plaque that reads, “Hilda Marion Glover, 1924-2007, Sit and Hear the Silence.”  The greatest gift we can expect from life, I think, is to be loved as much as someone obviously loved Hilda Glover.

I was having a little trouble finding a feel good place before I sat on the bench … for reasons not worth going into (they come under the heading of NI).  But as I sat there, an umbrella shielding me from the tree’s drips, my ears tuned into the forest’s pattering music, I felt myself finding alignment with the greater part of me—my nonphysical self.

I started playing out virtual scenarios in my head.  I ran them like little movies:  my agent calls on Tuesday to tell me she finally read my book, loves it, and plans to start submitting it to editors this week; a different agent calls and tells me she loves Puppies Interrupted and manages to sell it quickly, to the same editor who worked on Marley and Me, for a six-figure advance; Tim wins a lottery Tuesday evening, and we go see an attorney the next day to find out how best to handle the money; we move to Oregon and fix up an ocean-view house; we take a trip down the coast in September to celebrate the day Tim proposed, and he plays the Pebble Beach golf course ….

The longer I sat there visualizing these wonderful scenes, the better I felt.

Once in awhile, I’d find myself feeling not as good.  I’d check what I was thinking and realize my mind had wandered back into “what is” instead of “what I want.”  I’d poke my mind, and move it on to something better.

I sat there for 25 minutes.  Suddenly, Ducky burst from the trees and tore down the path toward me.  We had a tail-wagging reunion.  Tim said he didn’t find the leash.

We walked the circuit together again (Ducky got a 2 hour and 15 minute walk this morning) and still didn’t find the leash.  Someone must have picked it up.  Sigh.  I hope they enjoy it.

Tim said maybe it was a sign.  When we move to Oregon, we plan to get Ducky an Oregon Ducks (University of Oregon) leash, so maybe we lost this one to make way for the other one.  It’s a nice theory.

I miss the leash, but I enjoyed my sit.  Because I had nothing else to do while I waited for Tim, I really had a chance to focus my thought.

I wonder whether just sitting and finding scenarios that feel good is more productive than DOING things that don’t feel good.

I’ve heard The Secret gurus say that you can’t sit around waiting for something good to happen.  One of the speakers/writers quoted in that book (I forget which one) says that if you sit around waiting for money to come, you’ll find yourself sitting on the curb, homeless.

Abraham-Hicks might take issue with that.  They say that action is great, when it’s inspired, but action isn’t necessarily required to get what we want.  It’s not what we do. It’s how we’re aligned.

I was aligned in the forest today.  I could feel it.

I want to feel like that more often.

I’d like to have the courage to do that instead of doing the logical things to make money.

I’m moving closer to that courage (thanks in large part to a great new friend who sends me wonderful, encouraging e-mails—in fact, I need to add that to my “I love …” list:

Paz’s e-mails

Maybe my new motto needs to be “Sit and Hear the feel good thoughts.”