Wolf Moon

Can the moon inspire the right choices?  Can it help us come into alignment with our higher self?

The moon is the object of endless lore and romance.  What if the pull of the moon can impact our personal energy?

The moon will be full tonight for the first time this year.  A “wolf moon,” so-named by Native Americans because hungry wolves howled at the full moon on cold winter nights, tonight’s moon will be something special.  It will be the biggest and brightest full moon of the year.  Why?

The moon’s orbit around Earth is an ellipse.  One side of the orbit is 31,070 miles (50,000 km) closer than the other.  When the moon reaches this closest point to us, it’s called a perigee.  Once or twice a year, the perigee coincides with a full moon, as it will tonight.  This is what will make the moon 14 percent wider and 30 percent brighter tonight than lesser full Moons the rest of the year.

This full moon has already affected the tides—our beaches are littered with logs, and the ocean has been bellowing at us for days.  If the moon has that power, couldn’t it affect our energy too?  Aren’t we made mostly of water?

I used to wish on the moon when I was a little girl.  Maybe I should do it again.  And tonight would be the night.

Let’s check out the moon tonight and ask the universe to help us achieve alignment with our inner selves.  As a bonus, look for Mars—the reddish, star shape will be just to the left of the moon tonight.

My Lab Design Quandary

I’m standing at the threshold of my demolished lab.  I’ve stopped moaning.  Clean up is done.

But how do I redesign this lab?  What should I put in it?

My goal for this experiment was to find ways to feel good, to make feeling good my top priority.  The hypothesis:  feeling good aligns us with our nonphysical self and alignment with our nonphysical self (or inner being) is what puts us in vibrational alignment with what we desire.  Being in alignment with what we desire is how we get what we want.  In other words, to create your reality, you find ways to feel good.  That’s the working hypothesis.

I’m undertaking this experiment in conditions that are less than ideal.  The best time, I think, to do such an experiment is when things are going pretty well for you already, and you want to see if they can go better.

The worst time to undertake an experiment like this is when you are in dire straits of one kind or another, when your financial security rides on proving your hypothesis.  And of course, this is the situation I’m in.

When I say design my lab, I mean, what do I do while I’m feeling good?

I had a design plan when I put this experiment together.  My lab looked like this:  finish a book proposal for a memoir I wanted to write then get well-paying jobs as a freelance writer or editor.  I liked this design because it allowed me to enjoy the feeling of having some money coming in so I could let go of the need to have Tim do what he says he’s going to do:  win a lottery.

I liked this design.  It helped me be in that feel good place that is necessary for my experiment.

What blew up my lab was finding out that getting those well-paying jobs is about as difficult, if not more so, than winning the lottery.  In spite of my 25 years of writing, editing, and coaching/teaching experience, in spite of my published books, I am just one of thousands and thousands of writers clamoring for jobs, and since most of these writers are willing to work for sunflower seeds (.01 cents per word in many cases), getting the kind of wage I desire is nearly impossible.

So what do I do now?

Here are my design choices as I see them and how they make me feel:

1. Go ahead and scramble for these jobs.  Work as many hours as I can to bring in a couple thousand dollars in a month, if possible.  This choice feels miserable.  I HATE this choice.  It’s just one step up from applying for a job at McDonald’s (no offense to McDonald’s or people who work there—it’s my purgatory, but that’s just a personal thing).
2. Sit back, relax, and do whatever seems fun while KNOWING that Tim will win that lottery.  This choice makes me feel very anxious because I don’t KNOW that Tim will win, and if he doesn’t, we’re screwed (as in have to sell our house and move in with my parents or something).
3. Write another book proposal for another memoir idea I have or for another novel.  This idea doesn’t feel good either because I know that the speed of the publishing world will make it impossible to sell anything I might write by the end of March (even less possible than winning the lottery)
4. Throw all my energy into building the readership of this blog to a point where I can monetize it with ads.  This choice feels about as tenuous as choice number two.  I have no idea how I’d get this blog to a readership of 100,000 or more devoted readers, which is what it would need to be before I even thought about monetizing it.  It feels no more possible to do this in two months than it does to win a lottery.

As you can see, none of my design choices light me up.  None of them make my heart sing.  Abraham says they wouldn’t move forward with a course of action until it made their heart sing.

So what do I do now?

How do I paint this lab of mine?

How do I feel good when I don’t know what to do next?

Maybe I’m making this too difficult.  Maybe I’m missing choices that are right there for me to see but I don’t see them.

Right now, what I’m trying to do is look for things I have now that make me feel good, doing that and not thinking about the future or what design choice I need to make.

I feel better than I did yesterday, but I don’t feel good.

So the experiment is still stalled.